08/10/08

02-24-08 7:00pm I reread the things I've been writing and shared it with a girlfriend. She wrote back that she's impressed with my openness. I thought, "uh-oh" I better reread and I did delete things. I don't have Mercury in Scorpio, I'm not into secrets.  I have Mercury in Virgo, conjunct Saturn in Virgo, which is having its second return as I type. I eat details with a spoon.

02-24-08 3:30pm

I moved the nattering about Sun Tzu's "Art of War" to a page of its own. I thought I'd add fresh pictures of James since the art of war page has old pictures of us. These pictures were taken today, as I write this.

This is what I see of James most of the week end, playing EQII. A tip to women who have gamers as mates, leave them alone. You know where they are. You don't have to worry that they are up to some mischief. All you have to do is make sure their coffee is hot and topped off, bring some food, wait until their online friends fall asleep and then you got their attention.

Women who cling and want attention don't last with gamers. You have to be independent and involved in your own activities.

This is what I see when I say, "Hey, look up." Oh if he were at all curious he'd read my blog. But I know him well enough to know that if I leave him to his own devices, to chill out, connect with his friends and his sister online, he'll be in a better mood later on. Granted, if his computer didn't reboot at the most inopportune times he'd be in a better mood over all, but that doesn't have anything to do with me. I just brought him fresh squeezed orange juice. When I told him it was "fresh squeezed" he said, "Whoo hoo". Now that might not be enough for some women, but I'll take a "Whoo hoo" as acknowledgment of my culinary efforts on his behalf. I also made him drink Muscle Milk and take men's multiple vitamins. He's lost weight he couldn't afford to loose this last year and I have to bulk him up again.

This is what he sees when he looks over at where I'm working. Typing away on one part of my site or another. It's not a flattering picture but I'm over being concerned with what others think of my physical form. What I have to offer that is valuable is inside the form, not on the outside. Although I've been told I'm built for comfort and not speed. My thanks to Bushyaib, my 32 year old third born son, for taking this picture. FYI my son and my husband are the same age. So my husband couldn't get all weirded out about my "past". I told him since I have children older than him I was "doing it' longer than he's been alive. It's his fault for not reincarnating sooner that I wasted my time with other men. My son's don't mind, they happen to be content with the DNA load they carry.

This is what he sees when he gets my attention. Big smile, arms open wide. This photo was taken just moments ago and you can see how much of my grey hair grew out since Denise dyed it in Texas over Thanksgiving. I had some issues about the manifestations of my aging and then I had an epiphany. I am as God has made me as of this date. What grey I have, what wrinkles I have, are my stripes in the war of life. I survived my life and I'm still kicking. I'm not going to go through a lot of changes denying that I'll be 59 this year. I have to remember all my friends who have died already and figure I'm ok.  I came to a point where I figured I'll be ok with or without James as a life partner. Just deleted a mess of stuff. Speculation. Suffice it to say that my transits indicate that freedom and truth are measures to use. That weak relationships will break and strong ones just need an adjustment. I flashed... if I let go of the old way of relating, toss out the status quo, we just might weather this rough patch.

Took the recycling down and came back up with a bag of books on politics. Some political science major from Stanford was done with the books on third world underdevelopment and terrorism. Looked interesting enough to scav those and not the Danielle Steele novels that were with them. I also found a TV that plays VCR tapes. I tested it and it works. So now I have a small TV for my kitchen. I love to cook but I have a Gemini Moon, I also need a bit of distraction. I have tons of VCR tapes, things recorded off of cable TV, old movies I love. Now I know when I'm going to watch them, while I'm cooking. Now the trick is where to put it so it doesn't get splashed and still has a plug of its own and not on the surge protector that has the toaster oven (scav'd),  the microwave oven (scav'd), and the blender (also scav'd) plugged into it. It's amazing how many working appliances get tossed down into recycling. It goes straight to the landfill. People are wasteful.

I don't get embarrassed scav'ing stuff. I see it as saving money when the items are useful. I'd have never shelled out the bucks for a blender, but I'm glad I have one. Even if it doesn't have a top. I put a saucer on the top and it works fine.

Breakfast burittos were on the menu for a late lunch. I got into eating them when in Texas. Seems everyone, regardless of ethnic background, eats breakfast burittos in the part of Texas I was touring.  I'm recycling my roti  pan and heating up tortillas on it. It's a slap the head moment, it's been languishing in the pots and pans cupboard. Got to be quick though, tortillas burn in a second on a roti pan.

I'm so tickled with having a TV that plays VCRs in the kitchen. I have "Children of Dune" in there now and it's a 6 hour tape. I'm going to clear out some cupboards and put VCRs I've taped off of TV in the cupboard. If I'm going to be doing all the cooking, dish washing, recycling for the four of us (James, Amy and Bushyaib, and me) then I want some entertainment while doing the work. It's how I earn my keep around here, taking care of the food, cleaning, and doing house admin. They can spend all their free time chilling out after working wage jobs. My work never ends, never has a vacation unless I go on tour, it's only noticed when it's not done. I'll accept that as my lot in life at present because when I do start making money off of my art, I'm hiring help. Some new immigrant from another country, where pounding laundry on a stone by a river was normal.