08/10/08

So do I censor myself because what I write about is considered private matters? I don't think so. I'm naming no names outside of the family and they've been mentioned a thousand times elsewhere in my site. I did say my marriage is in a state of flux, and that's the truth. What I'm exploring is who is the new me at this particular juncture? One thing is clear, I need to give as much freedom to others as I need for myself to remain sane, ok? If I'm "liberal" about my reaction, or mercenary and pragmatic, that's your take on things. I'm looking for basics. Keeping the roof over my head, food in the fridge, basic bills paid like phone and utilities. That's the center post of my tent. Other people can afford to cop a fit, toss things out the window, hire attorneys, that takes resources to manifest. All I can afford is peace, but I'm going to ramble about it. It is for my therapy, sorting out my reality virtually.

There's lessons I'm learning about relational dynamics that must strike a resonant chord amongst my readers. Ok, here is where I show you my hand. If my experiences strike a chord or made you laugh, then it's more likely that you'll revisit. If you revisit and create a bond with me then my noodle shack has an ally. I am going to need folks who feel kindly towards me to help support my small carbon footprint. Whether James stays with me or goes off I got to get my art to support me.

Part of art sales is based on the cult of personality. Mae West, the real Davy Crockett, early practitioners of the cult of personality, share my birth day.

Some people spend time acquiring wealth, some build big edifices, my work of art is who I have become. I am my creative effort, how I view the world, how I can disseminate my memes, it's part of my "brand".

So keeping stuff secret because it's private, as if what we experience hasn't been and are not at this very moment being repeated, ad naseum, doesn't work with my need for a big stage, to make a big noise, to draw a crowd and have them buy my art stuff.

Nothing we go through is unique. We love, we bond, we shift alliances, resources got to be shared and some dance has to be done regarding bonding, birthing babies, and tending the old.

That's it. All else is pupkiss.

But I can't have other people's sensibilities impede me from doing what I gotta do. Which is to examine my experiences and wring out some life lesson that I can pass on to the folks who stumble over my natterings. I'm in my mentor stage and I'm going to embrace it. Others who are involved in my life got to get thicker skins. Yup, that's the ticket.  When it comes to self expression I gotta be free. If that scares the horses then that's not my problem. The world is wide, don't want to show up in my blog, stay out of my face. LOL 7:50pm

9:22pm I watched the Oscars, missed most of the beginning because I was typing. But I'm a big movie fan. I liked how they showed previous winners before announcing the new nominees. I got sad at the obits. Barbara Walters asks boring questions on her "special", I'm meaning to Hanna Montana and Juno gals, babawawa ain't hip.

I'm giving an effort to add the new posts to the bottom of the old one When I reread my stuff it bothers me to start from the bottom and go upward. I figure it must bother others.

Oh I found a big folder that needs the dwt update. Off to do web work.