08/10/08

AAW-NJ-Transits I was asked to join an astrology group and that page shows the transits for the day that the group was created.

The personals on Craig's list M4W is an interesting place, if you're an anthropologist doing time travel. If any extra terrestrial wants to know what American males thought was important, sexy, or a status object, they could find it on CLM4W.

Why do most men take pictures of themselves scowling? Are they trying to be the Alpha Male? Would smiling make they look less masculine? How do they think that's going to turn on a woman, some unsmiling macho guy trying to look cool. Take off the dang hat, baseball cap, hoodie, shades, and attitude.

I guess it's better than the pictures of their penises. "Date me and you get this too!".  I think I could assume that without the cell phone picture. Or the ones who show pictures of their cars and or motorcycles. "Date me and you get to ride on/in this too!".  We all know that cars and motorcycles are extensions of a man's sexual organ. It's part of the mating ritual. "This is what I went into debt for. This is an indication of my credit rating."

What kills me are the pictures that show that they have absolutely no sense of interior design. Painted walls cracked and stained, no pictures or other artwork, messy dressers, mirrors reflecting a room that you can smell through the jpg. "Date me and you can hang out in this hovel." Oh just sign me up for that, I can't wait.

I'm wondering about some of these face pictures. Men who say they are in their 40s and they are a mess. What happened to them? Yikes. I look at pictures of men who are my age, 58, and they are even more dilapidated. I don't know if I'm in denial or if the Asian blood just helped me age better, but dang. I've been spoiled being married to a man 26 years my junior for the last dozen years. I'm just used to looking at a younger face.

Spookier are the ones who are looking for a specific fetish object and not a girlfriend. "I want you to suspend me from a complicated harness from the ceiling and cover me with nutella while singing 'Home on the Range' and then I'll be yours." Hold me back, I dream about being topped from below.

 "Must have one breast, tattoos, and be tall." along with being employed and "no drama".

Oh no drama, that leaves Leos out of the picture. What the heck does that mean? Does it mean that when they are jerks we can't loose it and bash them on the head with the nearest room accessory? Or does it mean that when they pull no shows, stay too long, demand some weird sexual adventure on the first date we're supposed to be polite and understanding?

I'll give you drama by golly by gum.

What really blows my mind is all the married men looking for another sexual partner. Don't they know that CL ads show up on browser searches? Do married women realize that the STDs their wandering husband bring home could kill them? I understand crimes of passion now.

"Friends with benefits" is another term that if I read that again I'm going to do some damage somewhere. FWB means they want to hang out, smoke 420, have sex, but don't have to be emotionally involved. "We're just friends, f*ckbuddies, ya know? Nothing serious." Until the unplanned pregnancy happens or the STDs get noticed. Then they see that high drama baby mama with herpes on their door step with a face like a thunderstorm and a mouth full of attitude. "Oh yes this baby is yours. I wasn't doing it with anyone but you."

So what's the point of checking CLM4W? A reality check, mostly. The situation I'm in is weird but a whole lot less weird than going out into the dating scene with severely lowered marketability: old, fat, unemployed, an "artist", a Leo full of drama, don't drive, smoke, and not particularly fond of long walks on the beach, nor camping, nor hiking, or anything else that smacks of the great outdoors. I don't like sports nor sports fans. I don't go to bars and dislike drunks. So I know I'm not what any of these men are looking for and those who would settle for me I wouldn't boff with someone elses cooch.

All in all it makes me a little more resigned to my situation, no matter how weird it is. At least it's peaceful when he's here and when he's not I can blog as late as I want to.