07-06-08: Bronze the day. I found my beading board. After the last organization I put it somewhere and promptly forgot. I've been wanting to string the Tiger's Eye bead experiment now that it's all wet sanded and got a finish. Without the beading board it would be a PITA to do.

Wouldn't you know that when not thinking about it, letting my subconscious retrace my steps of the last re-org I flashed on where it was. I was washing dishes, getting lost in some pot scrubbing zen moment, when I remembered where I put the beading board.

So I have 5 necklaces strung, rough draft, I am now thinking of mixing the Tiger's Eye beads with some chop and tossed natasha beads I have that match in tone. When that thought flit through my brain I remembered I had some accent beads and pendants that might be able to be tossed in as well.

Another reason to Bronze The Day for yesterday, I uncovered a stash of clasps, hinges, wheat grain lights, doll house fuses, and two sets of miniature flat ware: forks, spoons and knives, just waiting for custom handles.

The creative block has been broken. It's been three weeks, filled with admin Got-To with the Women's Initiative, doing research for individual retirement plans for the small business owner, checking out life insurance and medical through AARP, paying down the DA debt enough to renew my passport (thank you economic incentive check automatically getting funneled in that direction). Man, to have a kosher passport, I can go to Canada and teach there, go over seas if I get the chance to. I still will have $1,700 more to pay off but dang, getting it under the $2,500 debt limit that got in the way of renewing my passport was just such a bummer.

I was invited to Cambodia to teach villagers polymer clay, couldn't take the offer to serve because of that passport problem. I told them truthfully, when a mother has a child who runs afoul of the law, who ends up in the custody of Youth Authority, some fees are levied on the mother. Until I get the amount under $2,500 I can't renew my passport because of some Homeland Security Ruling. I've been paying off this debt for years and went into default when I couldn't get corporate jobs anymore.  It never seemed fair that my son did his time and I get fined for his time in YA. Poor mothers didn't get fined, can't get money from a turnip. But the more money you make the more of the fines land on you. I've known executive mothers who paid through the nose, like tens of thousands each year, if their youth at risk ended up in custody. Never seemed fair. Double jeopardy sort of thing.

But with the economic incentive check getting funneled to the DA that restriction on my passport is just an administrative dance to do after a period of time.

I feel that taking a measured conservative approach to building my small business is the only way I can clear up my credit, pay off my debts, rebuild my retirement account devastated by the Dot. com bust. Maybe I can weather out this bad economy by being in an at risk demographic worthy of some tax breaks, e.g. economic recovery zones in SF. There's some areas in SF that get multiple tax breaks, State and Fed, if one opens a business there, taxes lowered or forgiven for a period of time while one builds the business. Tax incentives for hiring ex-offenders. Since my son is an ex-offender I'm hiring him first. He's making sure I don't take the bus at night coming back from the Women's Initiative training. We're partnered in this struggle. Just because he's grown doesn't mean he don't need mommy's help, as I need his.

With all the homework done in checking out city, state, fed, tax and business admin hoops to jump through I'm thankful for having been a Navy wife, welfare and financial aid recipient, getting through college with a practical degree (learning how to write white and talk white), I feel thankful for every form I had to fill, for every financial verification I ever had to suffer through, for all the anal retentive record keeping I had to do as an administrative assistant and office manager when I got off of welfare. I thank all the papers I've shuffled and all the good bosses I had as examples. I thank my lucky stars for being able to cultivate my geek skills since 1987. Without all this background I don't think building a small business in SF would be as smooth.  I can see how a lot of other poverty level women would be intimidated by the paperwork. I'm dancing around the ring, punching my boxing gloves together, saying "Bring it on.". That's how I feel. Like I'm geared up for a fight I've been training for all these years.

Colonel Sanders didn't get his big break until he was my age. So if he can do it. I can do it.