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A
claymate on the list wrote:
I sure didn't learn about
being a loving mother or a good wife.
I learned what not to do but not what I could do,,,,,,
+++++
Many of us are products of family practices where to spare the rod one
spoils the child, where children should be seen and not heard. A lot
of us were in family situations where our parents were flipping out
after either being in WWII or Hoovervilles, or from another country.
There wasn't any Psychology Today on the stands then, or Public
Broadcasting or BBC TV access so how were our imperfect parents
supposed to have known better?
This is how I find closure on my disappointed expectations on who my
mother was supposed to be for me. I did come to a point where I had
to decide not to see from her world view because she is unhappy. I
didn't think it was in my best interest to buy into it, but to rather
get away from it.
No surprise I got married at 16. I just sent a picture to MSATClayPictures
of my oldest son's blushing bride as they walked down the isle last
November. I'm 52 and Yoichi is 36. You only get that sort of age difference
with mother and child if there was a problem at home somewhere. I'll cop to
my background.
But we got a choice to continue the damage or heal it.
I'd rather heal than keep a phantom foot on my neck. Slave don't need
a master what keeps his own foot on his own neck, says Mama Jefferson.
We find other "Mothers" when ours are damaged by life and lack of
therapy. My visit with you is as much for my need to be nurtured as it
is to nurture others. It's a feed back loop.
All of life is a feed back loop in some way I'm starting to think.
I found out today that depression effects the SHAPE of the
hypothalamus in the brain. The SHAPE!! Depression damages our brains
physically. This effects memory, learning, important switching station
to send stuff to other parts of the brain too I seem to recall.
Stress breeds depression. Stress lowers our immune systems, opening
the door for disease.
There is not ONE person on this list who's blood pressure does not go
down when conditioning clay and just looking out a window. It's like
petting a cat or watching fish swim, this conditioning the clay.
Something warm and pliable, it yields but has heft, it's sensual, it's
soothing.
I'm all for reducing stress by breaking the habit of self deprecation
...ergo quarters in the jar. For stress, depression and a low self
image will shorten our lives and while we live them they will be
wretched and cursed.
Michael Cane said something interesting on In Actor's Studio with
James Lippton. Humor... James asked Michael if he feels underutilized
as a comic actor. Michael says all roles have inherent humor in them,
"If you are playing a human there's going to be humor somewhere. What
is a life without humor?"
Laughter releases the same brain chemicals as orgasm. Making people
laugh makes those neuro transmitters sending feel good feelings,
healing the burdened heart, breaking the tape loops of self
deprecation. I feel when I am a goof and just run off at the mouth
talking crazy if I get a few laughs out of the crowd I've done my
duty. Got them feel good neuro transmitters going.
There's a method to my madness and a focus, which makes me doubly
intrusive...
but shi kata ga nai, it can't be helped, it must be done
if we are to flourish as artists.
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